Tag Archives: Motivation

The Student, the Professor, and the Helicopter

The University of California San Diego (UCSD) has gotten much press recently when it was revealed by an irate mother that her daughter, a student at the college, would be required to take her final exam in her birthday suit.

Well, let me clarify. According to a CNN interview, the course in question calls for students to act out “gestures” in class. One particular assignment called the “Erotic Self,” requires nude participation in a dim, candle lit classroom (let that sink in for a minute). Twenty somethings + college life + naked bodies = well you can do the math on that. Once upon a time, I was a college kid and would be willing to bet my class ring and coveted student parking pass that someone in that class will be aroused by what is seen. The University has since gone on the record saying there is no requirement to perform nude to pass the course.

How has all this come to light? It turns out it wasn’t a student who complained, but rather her “helicopter mom” has lead this charge of indecency.

Copter mom critics have emphasized that her daughter was made aware of the nude testing requirement at the start of class and most likely would have also heard hushed whispers of this performance art standard from college campus lore. But, even if she knew, or should have known, that doesn’t negate her right to change her mind and exercise her personal choice to say “no.”

When your fresh off age 18 and even into your early 20’s you’ve often been conditioned to go with the status quo and move right along with the group, even if the group is marching off the proverbial cliff. We need more young people who are willing to speak up for injustice, disparity, and unfair treatment. As parents (and people who’ve experienced adulthood for more than two seconds) we have an obligation to encourage our kids to stand up for what they believe in, even if its unpopular, so that they don’t develop a dangerous pattern of acquiescing to situations and events that continuously compromise their values and beliefs.

So, to the young woman who finds herself in this moral dilemma of shall I or shall I not, I say unto you, “just don’t.” If your grade is impacted – all will be well. You’ll find that in life you will experience many more situations that will require you to abstain, even at the risk of some negative consequence.

To the professor who has taught this course for a decade, please find another way for your students to demonstrate their academic effort with their clothes on. I’m just sayin’.

And finally, to helicopter mom, kudos to you for advocating for your daughter because even when they get to college, they still need our help; however, just try to increase your altitude a bit more and hover at an acceptable height that still allows your daughter to grow, develop, and experience life on her own.

Does God’s Call Equal a Boring Social Life?

Have you ever had that feeling while watching a presenter that they’ve somehow gotten access to your thoughts and are speaking directly to your life circumstance?

This was my experience for most of the three days at the CWIMA annual conference. From the keynote address that categorized internet pornography attraction at an epidemic level, to the graceful and wise counsel given by renowned bible scholar KayArthur who challenged every woman in attendance to monitor her dress and guard her heart against forbidden desire, it was as if the messages presented had been personally earmarked just for me (God has a way of doing that).

On my plane ride back, I mentally sifted through all of the great moments from the weekend, but one connection stands out as truly inspiring.

I met a woman who had also authored a book. As we spoke about my book’s theme of female pornography consumption, her tone changed as she winced and took a sharp breath in as if she had been suddenly chilled to the bone. “This is going to come quickly,” she said as her eyes intently held mine, “you’ve got to get prepared and get anchored becaugod's calling picse the topic of pornography is seductive.”

God was attempting to get my attention as I listened fiercely doing my best to memorize all that I felt He was revealing to me through this woman. Sometimes the plan God has for your life will require a life-change and you may not feel prepared for it, What things must I stop doing? Can I still have a fun social life? Am I “holy” enough to meet God’s calling? 

In the Bible, when Jesus was preparing for the end of his life on earth, He began to pray and emphasized the importance of being “one” with Him so that God’s love could be shown to the world (John 17:20-23).

I believe this is the “anchoring” God revealed through the words of that kind woman. As we draw closer to the Son, it anchors us to Him and will ultimately shift our thoughts, behaviors, and actions towards those things that are pleasing to God. Those “fun” things that we cherished so much, which tend to draw us away from God, no longer hold priority in our lives. Most importantly, anchoring to the Son allows God’s love to manifest openly and brilliantly to others who may or may not know Him.

Anchoring, is a lofty assignment we’re all tasked with – the question becomes, will we accept the challenge?

From Daydream to Reality – Three Principles You Must Practice to Launch Your Next Big Goal, Project, or Vision

Principle #1 – Get Prepared

Zig Ziglar says, “Success occurs when opportunity meets preparation.” That’s so true. To be able to leverage and fully benefit from opportunities that come your way, you’ve goopportunitiest to be prepared.

Many successful authors agree that the time to begin marketing your book is long before its release date. As I began the publishing process for my book it occurred to me that launching my book prior to the theatrical release of 50 Shades of Grey would generate buzz because of the movie’s theme and the frenzy of women lining up to view porn. However, I wasn’t prepared to launch at that time and alas, that opportunity was missed. The good thing about life, it deals out multiple hands of fresh opportunities so if you missed your “big break” or “dream job/promotion”, more opportunities will come, but learn the lesson — get prepared.

Principle #2 – Just DO It.

Any time we face something that’s new and scary, the natural response is to retreat — and even worse, we sometimes stop mid-course, where we neither move forward or backwards.

One component of book marketing involves engaging with others via social media. While I’m comfortable with Facebook, Twitter represented a new and foreign landscape that I did not know how to maneuver. I did all the right things to get started. I researched best practices, read up on what to tweet and when to tweet it, and installed Tweet deck on my computer, but when it came time to start communicating with the world, my fingers simply wouldn’t type anything I felt was compelling enough to share. Who’s going to read my tweets? Who’s going to care? If those discouraging voices distract you too, or if you keep telling yourself “I’ll start next week,” push through the fear. Just Do It.

Principle #3 – Pace yourself

Anything worth having takes a little time. It’s so easy to look at others successes and think it happened overnight. In many instances that simply isn’t the case. KFC’s Colonel Sanders was living off of a $105 monthly social security check, sometimes sleeping in his car as he traveled selling KFC franchises – all at the age of 65! Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hanson pitched Chicken Soup for the Soul to 144 publishers before they got their first deal. Now KFC boasts over 18,000 outlets in 115 countries and territories and Chicken Soup went on to sell 167 million copies worldwide. What if they had given up simply because they lacked the stamina to see it through?

Marketing a Long_Distance_Runningbook isn’t a sprint, but rather, a long distance run that requires great effort, discipline, and quite frankly, patience. So what have I learned to do? I take my time. For me, I purpose to do something to move the marketing of my book forward – daily. Whether it’s connecting with a potential new partner who might purchase large quantities of my book, speaking publicly to a group of stakeholders/influencers about my topic, or pitching the media, I patiently and diligently keep moving forward, step by step.

So settle in for the journey and enjoy it. Plan your work and work your plan. Just last week someone “favorited” one of my tweets. Finally, confirmation that I can have an impact, albeit a tiny one, in the Twittersphere. One step at a time.