Tag Archives: self-help

7 Common Themes Pornography Teaches

Last week I had the great pleasure of speaking to a psych class at California Baptist University. We spent quite some time talking about pornography and its many themes including porn’s unrealistic portrayal of the average man or woman’s body. When a person views sexually explicit materials, they’re often consuming images of actors and actresses who have surgically enhanced their bodies.

One student in class shared a story of a married man who became so connected to pornography that he asked his wife to surgically augment her breasts. Although she protested vigorously at first, the wife eventually acquiesced, had the procedure, and has regretted her decision ever since – worse yet, the marriage didn’t last and she’s left with large breasts that she never wanted. Pornography teaches us that all men and women have amazing bodies and overly developed (ahem) “features” when in reality, that isn’t the case.

Seven common themes that people ingest when consuming pornography includes:nueter meme

1. Unrealistic sex: generally, no one gets STDs or gets pregnant in porn
2. Relationships: de-emphasis on commitment – marriage considered sexually restrictive
3. Promiscuity: indiscriminate sexual activity is the norm – anything goes!
4. Deviant sexual behavior: misconception that kinky sex is gratifying to everyone
5. Abstinence: sexual inactivity is considered abnormal
6. Violence: glorification of BDSM
7. Unusual couplings: promotion of sexual encounters with non-traditional partners

For more information about common themes found in pornography, checkout Girls Watch Too! Female Fascination with Porn: Why You Should Care and What You Can Do About It. At Amazon.com, Barnes&Noble, or available upon request from your local bookstore.

From Daydream to Reality – Three Principles You Must Practice to Launch Your Next Big Goal, Project, or Vision

Principle #1 – Get Prepared

Zig Ziglar says, “Success occurs when opportunity meets preparation.” That’s so true. To be able to leverage and fully benefit from opportunities that come your way, you’ve goopportunitiest to be prepared.

Many successful authors agree that the time to begin marketing your book is long before its release date. As I began the publishing process for my book it occurred to me that launching my book prior to the theatrical release of 50 Shades of Grey would generate buzz because of the movie’s theme and the frenzy of women lining up to view porn. However, I wasn’t prepared to launch at that time and alas, that opportunity was missed. The good thing about life, it deals out multiple hands of fresh opportunities so if you missed your “big break” or “dream job/promotion”, more opportunities will come, but learn the lesson — get prepared.

Principle #2 – Just DO It.

Any time we face something that’s new and scary, the natural response is to retreat — and even worse, we sometimes stop mid-course, where we neither move forward or backwards.

One component of book marketing involves engaging with others via social media. While I’m comfortable with Facebook, Twitter represented a new and foreign landscape that I did not know how to maneuver. I did all the right things to get started. I researched best practices, read up on what to tweet and when to tweet it, and installed Tweet deck on my computer, but when it came time to start communicating with the world, my fingers simply wouldn’t type anything I felt was compelling enough to share. Who’s going to read my tweets? Who’s going to care? If those discouraging voices distract you too, or if you keep telling yourself “I’ll start next week,” push through the fear. Just Do It.

Principle #3 – Pace yourself

Anything worth having takes a little time. It’s so easy to look at others successes and think it happened overnight. In many instances that simply isn’t the case. KFC’s Colonel Sanders was living off of a $105 monthly social security check, sometimes sleeping in his car as he traveled selling KFC franchises – all at the age of 65! Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hanson pitched Chicken Soup for the Soul to 144 publishers before they got their first deal. Now KFC boasts over 18,000 outlets in 115 countries and territories and Chicken Soup went on to sell 167 million copies worldwide. What if they had given up simply because they lacked the stamina to see it through?

Marketing a Long_Distance_Runningbook isn’t a sprint, but rather, a long distance run that requires great effort, discipline, and quite frankly, patience. So what have I learned to do? I take my time. For me, I purpose to do something to move the marketing of my book forward – daily. Whether it’s connecting with a potential new partner who might purchase large quantities of my book, speaking publicly to a group of stakeholders/influencers about my topic, or pitching the media, I patiently and diligently keep moving forward, step by step.

So settle in for the journey and enjoy it. Plan your work and work your plan. Just last week someone “favorited” one of my tweets. Finally, confirmation that I can have an impact, albeit a tiny one, in the Twittersphere. One step at a time.

Government employee cites “boredom” as reason for watching porn at work. Wait…what?

Have you ever peaked at porn while on the clock?

One EPA government employee did. In fact, the employee did so 2-6 hours, per day. That’s up to 75% of the work day. The controversy has even sparked new legislation to ban government employees from watching porn at work (as if you need to legislate that one).

While I think the case of this government worker is extreme, it made me wonder, why do employees watch porn at work? Is it because they don’t have internet access at home? Highly unlikely. When we look back on history and how adult content was accessed in the olden days you either had to go to an adult movie theater (think dark and seedy) or settle for still images iold vcrn a magazine.

With the advent of paid television subscription services such as “On TV” things changed. Now pornography could be watched safely and secretly from the privacy of one’s bedroom. Next, enter the VCR. Access to sexually explicit materials expanded even further as producers scrambled to create adult content to fit this new viewing medium.

But by far, the Internet has ushered in an explosive jump in porn’s accessibility. In what can easily be called an unexpected occurrence, the Internet created a new entry point for amateur producers of porn who could, for the first time, compete shoulder to shoulder with large studios. More producers = more porn on the web. When you add in the proliferation of smartphone users (there are more folks with access to smporn on keyboardart phones in Africa then to clean drinking water) and the technological advancements in streaming mobile content, now access to sexually explicit material is simpler, faster, and cheaper than in years past.

So back to the original question. Why would someone risk embarrassment, diminished reputation, discipline, and even termination by watching porn at work? I don’t think it’s due to boredom as reported (Lord help us because we’d have an epidemic on our hands). It could be because they can’t stop. When a person views pornography, the dopamine chemical is produced in the brain at dramatic levels, inducing a drug-like sensation similar to crack cocaine. Additional “feel-good” chemicals are also formed, which reduce the body’s ability to furnish quantities at normal levels in ordinary circumstances, therefore causing the porn-addicted psyche to demand more and more sexually explicit materials.

Have you looked or are you hooked?

Join the conversation. Girl Watch Too! Available 4.25.15 at Amazon.com and Barnesandnoble.com