Tag Archives: addiction

Does God’s Call Equal a Boring Social Life?

Have you ever had that feeling while watching a presenter that they’ve somehow gotten access to your thoughts and are speaking directly to your life circumstance?

This was my experience for most of the three days at the CWIMA annual conference. From the keynote address that categorized internet pornography attraction at an epidemic level, to the graceful and wise counsel given by renowned bible scholar KayArthur who challenged every woman in attendance to monitor her dress and guard her heart against forbidden desire, it was as if the messages presented had been personally earmarked just for me (God has a way of doing that).

On my plane ride back, I mentally sifted through all of the great moments from the weekend, but one connection stands out as truly inspiring.

I met a woman who had also authored a book. As we spoke about my book’s theme of female pornography consumption, her tone changed as she winced and took a sharp breath in as if she had been suddenly chilled to the bone. “This is going to come quickly,” she said as her eyes intently held mine, “you’ve got to get prepared and get anchored becaugod's calling picse the topic of pornography is seductive.”

God was attempting to get my attention as I listened fiercely doing my best to memorize all that I felt He was revealing to me through this woman. Sometimes the plan God has for your life will require a life-change and you may not feel prepared for it, What things must I stop doing? Can I still have a fun social life? Am I “holy” enough to meet God’s calling? 

In the Bible, when Jesus was preparing for the end of his life on earth, He began to pray and emphasized the importance of being “one” with Him so that God’s love could be shown to the world (John 17:20-23).

I believe this is the “anchoring” God revealed through the words of that kind woman. As we draw closer to the Son, it anchors us to Him and will ultimately shift our thoughts, behaviors, and actions towards those things that are pleasing to God. Those “fun” things that we cherished so much, which tend to draw us away from God, no longer hold priority in our lives. Most importantly, anchoring to the Son allows God’s love to manifest openly and brilliantly to others who may or may not know Him.

Anchoring, is a lofty assignment we’re all tasked with – the question becomes, will we accept the challenge?

7 Common Themes Pornography Teaches

Last week I had the great pleasure of speaking to a psych class at California Baptist University. We spent quite some time talking about pornography and its many themes including porn’s unrealistic portrayal of the average man or woman’s body. When a person views sexually explicit materials, they’re often consuming images of actors and actresses who have surgically enhanced their bodies.

One student in class shared a story of a married man who became so connected to pornography that he asked his wife to surgically augment her breasts. Although she protested vigorously at first, the wife eventually acquiesced, had the procedure, and has regretted her decision ever since – worse yet, the marriage didn’t last and she’s left with large breasts that she never wanted. Pornography teaches us that all men and women have amazing bodies and overly developed (ahem) “features” when in reality, that isn’t the case.

Seven common themes that people ingest when consuming pornography includes:nueter meme

1. Unrealistic sex: generally, no one gets STDs or gets pregnant in porn
2. Relationships: de-emphasis on commitment – marriage considered sexually restrictive
3. Promiscuity: indiscriminate sexual activity is the norm – anything goes!
4. Deviant sexual behavior: misconception that kinky sex is gratifying to everyone
5. Abstinence: sexual inactivity is considered abnormal
6. Violence: glorification of BDSM
7. Unusual couplings: promotion of sexual encounters with non-traditional partners

For more information about common themes found in pornography, checkout Girls Watch Too! Female Fascination with Porn: Why You Should Care and What You Can Do About It. At Amazon.com, Barnes&Noble, or available upon request from your local bookstore.

Government employee cites “boredom” as reason for watching porn at work. Wait…what?

Have you ever peaked at porn while on the clock?

One EPA government employee did. In fact, the employee did so 2-6 hours, per day. That’s up to 75% of the work day. The controversy has even sparked new legislation to ban government employees from watching porn at work (as if you need to legislate that one).

While I think the case of this government worker is extreme, it made me wonder, why do employees watch porn at work? Is it because they don’t have internet access at home? Highly unlikely. When we look back on history and how adult content was accessed in the olden days you either had to go to an adult movie theater (think dark and seedy) or settle for still images iold vcrn a magazine.

With the advent of paid television subscription services such as “On TV” things changed. Now pornography could be watched safely and secretly from the privacy of one’s bedroom. Next, enter the VCR. Access to sexually explicit materials expanded even further as producers scrambled to create adult content to fit this new viewing medium.

But by far, the Internet has ushered in an explosive jump in porn’s accessibility. In what can easily be called an unexpected occurrence, the Internet created a new entry point for amateur producers of porn who could, for the first time, compete shoulder to shoulder with large studios. More producers = more porn on the web. When you add in the proliferation of smartphone users (there are more folks with access to smporn on keyboardart phones in Africa then to clean drinking water) and the technological advancements in streaming mobile content, now access to sexually explicit material is simpler, faster, and cheaper than in years past.

So back to the original question. Why would someone risk embarrassment, diminished reputation, discipline, and even termination by watching porn at work? I don’t think it’s due to boredom as reported (Lord help us because we’d have an epidemic on our hands). It could be because they can’t stop. When a person views pornography, the dopamine chemical is produced in the brain at dramatic levels, inducing a drug-like sensation similar to crack cocaine. Additional “feel-good” chemicals are also formed, which reduce the body’s ability to furnish quantities at normal levels in ordinary circumstances, therefore causing the porn-addicted psyche to demand more and more sexually explicit materials.

Have you looked or are you hooked?

Join the conversation. Girl Watch Too! Available 4.25.15 at Amazon.com and Barnesandnoble.com